A Professor was giving a lecture on "Involuntary Muscular Contractions" to his first year medical students. Realizing that this was not the most riveting subject, the Professor decided to give an example his students could relate to.

He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said, "Do you know what your ass hole is doing while you're having an orgasm?" She replied, "He's probably golfing with his friends."

_____________________
Now don't make me explain it.

Two young boys walk into a pharmacy one day, pick out a box of Tampax and proceed to the checkout counter. The man at the counter asks the older boy, "Son, how old are you?"

"Eight," the boy replies.

The man continues, "Do you know what these are used for?"

"Not exactly," the boy says. "But they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now he can't do either one."


"I say: Seriously what can a Tampax not be used for?

1.) Throw them at a stranger and laugh, then use them to clean up the bloody mess they left you with.

2.) If you put it somewhere it doesn't belong, how could you if it didn't belong there? Put it anywhere, a bookshelf, someone's ear, or color it dark red and reinvent the meaning of phrases such as:
"WTF was that?!"

3.) Are you a dirty cop/emotional fuck? Soak up the blood easily.

4.) Let your grandma use it as a weight (preferrably not used.)

5.) Have a small cut, forget bandaids, use a Tampax.

So, probably 1 & 1/2 to 2 months ago I put up this version of the site, all mySQL powered. Well, now that I've learned more about PHP and Javascript, I will be finalizing this damn fine piece of work.

To come:
* Minor (maybe major) reconstruction to the CSS and layout.
* Media will once again flourish.
* A small discussion board (written entirely by me.)
* Dropping the shoutbox, with release of the discussion board.
* RSS feeds for front page.
* Integration of radio in the layout.
* Javascript powered menus.
* Other various features along the way.

Not a big deal or anything but if someone or a spam bot happen to spam my site, either shoutbox or comments, I begin redirecting them to fascinating sites such as Lemon Party (please you don't want to investigate this, for your own good do not investigate. People who already know what it is, join me in a little laugh, "hehehehe".)

And spam bots can't see my email now. Usually spam bots search sites with some sort of tool that doesn't support Javascript and if you don't have Javascript supported, you're going to be emailing support@google.com instead.

And for those of you who read here's a little gift from Lamb Salad:

An old man,
Mr. Goldstein, was living the last of his life in a nursing home.

One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed. Nurse Tracy asked if there was anything wrong.

"Yes, Nurse," said Mr. Goldstein, "My Private Part died today, and I am very sad." Knowing her patients were forgetful and sometimes a little crazy, she replied, "Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Goldstein, please accept my condolences.

The following day, Mr. Goldstein was walking down the hall with his Private Part hanging out his pajamas, when he met Nurse Tracy. "Mr. Goldstein," she said, "You shouldn't be walking down the hall like that... Please put your Private Part back inside your pajamas." But, Nurse Tracy," replied Mr. Goldstein," I told you yesterday that my Private Part died."

"Yes, you did tell me that, but why is it hanging out of your pajamas?"

"Well", he replied, "Today's the viewing."

Catch more of NeoScotty here.